How it all began: A personal story

When I was 21, I was told that I’d never have children. I had menopausal levels of estrogen, early osteoporosis and was no longer fertile. I’d been on the contraceptive pill since 13 & the implanon (one of the most horrific things a woman can put in her body) since 18. When I decided to remove it, I didn’t have a cycle for 2 years. Doctors just told me to just keeping waiting before I eventually learned I had severe PCOS.

An incurable disease they told me. The solution = daily estrogen injections for the rest of my life without any guarantees of ever having a family.

I was utterly heartbroken. My life felt over before it even began. But this was the first time a much wiser part of me spoke. And I listened.

Long story short – I healed the incurable. But the truth is, I didn’t fully understand the initiation at the time & when we don’t wholeheartedly grasp the lesson, we simply manifest another opportunity to learn it.

Whilst I was cyst free, years later I was diagnosed with stage 3 cervical dysplasia. The final stage before cervical cancer. Doctors told me I was crazy for never getting the LEEP procedure… but if I healed myself once, I could do it again right?

And I did. Without any medical intervention.

But when I learned that I had a polyp in my uterus a year later – I knew I wasn’t fully meeting something. This was no longer about my childhood or seggsual trauma, diet or stress.

This was a spiritual matter.

Up until that point, I’d say I had a lot of knowledge about the cycles. I’d spent a year learning about women’s rites of passage, read many books, attending many workshops, and understood a lot about nutrition.

But I don’t think I ever truly understood the profound force & map of awakening inside my body and it’s specific role on the planet right now. Not at an embodied level anyway.

This all changed when two things happened…

1. During a survival training in 2022, I felt intuitively called to go for a wander. Not only did I find an incredible cave shelter but there was also a python right near it. In prayer, we hunted the animal & honoured it over a shared dinner. To prepare the meat, a friend drained the blood & made a black pudding.

   I decided to try it & as the rest of the group chatted into the night – I was sent into a full-on psychedelic-like experience & wandered into the forest to be alone. Throughout the night, I received strong & vivid visions directly from this being, who is considered the master of death/rebirth, transformation & the feminine mysteries in many cultures.

   Earlier that day, folks talked about continuing their training in earth skills with a special interest in an upcoming Vision Quest training. I too was excited to attend. But that night, this animal ally clearly told me: “That is not your path. Whilst honourable, it is not the feminine lineage. Research the true origins of the quest, that is your path”.

   So I did, and now I’m bringing what I learned to you.

2. In 2023, I was invited to South Africa for a 21 day survival challenge - televised. A week before departure, I was scheduled for surgery to remove the polyp in my uterus. I was nervous about complications but it was urgent. As I recovered in hospital, I listened to books on mythology & went deeply internal, surrendering to the mythic process.

   In all myths, the main protagonist undergoes very specific challenges but not because life is cruel. It is through struggle that we develop our mastery. All shadows contain the map to our gifts if we are willing to meet & apprentice to them.

   I already knew there were rich lessons in all my reproductive health challenges but it wasn’t until this day that I fully accepted this as a key part of my spiritual mastery.

   Fast forward 3 weeks & I was in the South African bushveld - naked - with nothing but a flint & a machete. And my 🔴 came 2 weeks early. I could have shied away, tapped out or accepted “hygiene products” but instead, I bolded & unashamedly leaned into the ceremony. I spent 5 days free bleeding on the Mother country with 5 men filming my every move. They asked questions & I answered truthfully - knowing they’d never air the material. But much to my surprise, when my episode aired, it was titled ‘There Will Be Blood’ & it was the feature of the episode. To my knowledge, I am the first woman in the show’s 11 year history to openly & reverently talk about the cycle. The producer said “we’ve never seen anyone do this like you before”.

   And I basically blew up the internet. Notice even for yourself how your body reacted to this story. I received everything from disgust, celebration, demonisation, shock & curiosity.

But for me, that wasn’t the initiation. In fact, I’m not really an advocate for sharing this ceremony online (more on that coming)

The initiation was one of the most profound & unmistakable experiences of communication the land that happened right after my blood in South Africa. And the message I received has been my guiding force the last 1.5 years.

Since then, there has been a power growing inside me that ancient, eternal & wiser than I could ever imagine. And my whole journey suddenly made sense. I know I wouldn’t have the architecture to hold her without everything that happened.

We are entering an era of immense chaos & destruction and if you’re not in relationship with her, you will be forever caught in the web of victimisation. But if you are ready to apprentice to her, you will be among the few women who are genuinely here to guide us through this transition.

I don’t believe you can master anything without the embodied initiation of having your heart broken by it. And I know of very few women that haven’t experienced some level of heartbreak about their cycle - even if they’re now menopausal.

But we have a choice: to go on complaining & resisting our own awakening, or accept the training & rise again as the priestess you were born to be.